I am not happy with myself lately. I haven’t been doing anything to improve myself lately and I have even slipped back on a few things that I used to have overcome. It is discouraging. I know why it happened. My state of not being able to care or it would hurt too bad has made me complacent. I have not been on guard and I feel more tired.
I haven’t been exercising or eating right plus a few other things. I have made a new committment. This is the second day. My diet has been good and I exercised a little but short of my goal. It feels like such a long road ahead. I am determined to lose some weight. I want to firm up. I just cant find the energy to fullfill what I see myself doing as far as exercise. I am soooo tired. It feels like it did when my thyroid was hypo. I wake up and want a nap within the next two hours and when I do take a nap, I cant wake up and want to sleep all day.
I hate not having real goals though. I feel like I am just sleepwalking through my life. My life is speeding by and I feel like such a loser. It is going to be over and it will just be wasted. I have not purpose. I have nothing I can think of to look forward to…I don’t even know what I want. I am so numb so I dkont know how to improve. I dont know who I am or what I want and how do you get where you dont know where you are going? It is just a waste. I am such a waste of life.
I want to find a goal I can get excited about so I have something to look forward to and work toward. This stagnation is killing me from the inside out. But, how do I change it?
